The Truffle Shuffle

It’s been a while, so I thought I’d give you some semblance of an update.

First of all, thanks to all of you who donated money towards our camp fund. We’re still working towards our goal, but I think we’ll make it.
I had my last class of the semester on Thursday. I’m ok with being done for a few months. This semester went pretty well, all things considered. It was my first semester as a teacher of anything, let alone English as a Foreign Language. There were some rocky moments and some good ones. Allow me to share a few:
Good: One of my eighth grade boys told me he likes Led Zeppelin. I shared my Zeppelin collection with him. He now asks me how to translate song lyrics. His favorite songs: The Rain Song, and Friends. His favorite disc: Zeppelin 3. Also, he never missed a day of class.
Rocky: The lesson that I had planned fell apart when only two students showed up. Where was everyone else? “Sick” (It was the first really nice day of Spring)
Good: I had an actual discussion with a class. We talked about what it would be like to live in another country. They worked hard to use English words and not fall back on Ukrainian.
Rocky: I gave a test that I thought was at the level of my students. Out of 30 points, the highest score was a 17. I graded on a curve. And then learned that the word “curve” sounds like a profanity in Ukrainian.
Then there were the constant cell phone struggles, the student who threw chalk at me, and the occasional interruption from students not in my class. But it was a good first semester. I learned a lot and I plan to bring what I learned with me next year. Hopefully I can make myself a better teacher.
The final two weeks of school were used for testing, or control work. I’ll share a few words and then move on. The amount of cheating that goes on here is ridiculous. The students talk to one another, they open their books, they actually get out of their seats and walk to another student to copy. And they’re not subtle about it. And it’s not allowed. And yet it’s a given that every class and every student will cheat. In America, teachers worry about students passing answers by cell phone messages. In Ukraine, exam time is maybe the only time that cell phones aren’t used in class. I made a class cry by telling them that no talking was allowed, and that they had to sit at a table by themselves. They were paralyzed by the thought that they would take the test on their own. Another problem: The tests aren’t even on material covered. For example, my ninth grade has been studying professions and career choices. They were given a test on Bill Clinton. There has to be a better way. There has to be a better way.
I was at a shashleek (kebabs)/going away party for a volunteer who’s on his way home. He’s group 26(I’m 29). There was a group of volunteers from the L’viv region. We were at a park in L’viv, and we had set up our picnic materials by a group of campfires. We weren’t the only people shashleeking (There were two groups of Ukrainians enjoying the weather as well), but after about an hour we were paid a visit by some of L’viv’s finest. Two police officers approached our fire and group. One of the men was older and heavyset and the other was about my age. They asked what we were doing… which is a stupid question, because every Ukrainian knows what shashleek is. We explained the obvious to them. They told us that we were in a park and that we weren’t supposed to have a fire. We said that there was already a fire pit. And there were two other groups shashleeking. They nodded, but persisted that we weren’t supposed to have a fire in the park.
So then one of our volunteers, let’s call him Bob, steps up and asks, “Well, is there a fine we need to pay?” The older officer looks at our group, then at the other groups, then at his partner. He asks Bob to step aside with him. The two of them talk and pockets are lined. Then Bob returns to our group and the officers walk away. They don’t bother the other two groups.
We paid 20 dollars for our right to shashleek. Judging by the fact that the other two groups weren’t bothered, we assume that the officers heard us speaking English and decided to harass us. What a surprise when we all spoke Ukrainian as well. Of course, it was already established that we were foreign, and we still had to pay a bribe.
Bribes happen at all levels here, which is one of the big problems in this country. At my school, parents can simply buy the grades that they want their children to receive. How can they expect to weed out corruption at a national level if they can’t even prevent it at their public schools?

Changing gears a bit, despite the best efforts of my entire school, I still don’t have a television. My huge apartment is still way too big and it’s pretty cold most of the time. That last fact doesn’t bode too well for the winter. I suppose I’ll just never take off my jacket. My plant is still alive. I think it was given to me in much the same way that a girlfriend might give her boyfriend a plant. If I can manage to keep a plant alive, I might be worth the time and effort, but if it dies on me… Well, I’m doing pretty well with this plant. In fact, there are new shoots on it. Ha!
There’s also a cherry tree outside my window. When the cherries are ripe, I plan to harvest a lot of them from my balcony. And then eat them. Maybe try to make cherry preserves or jam or something. But mostly just eat a lot of them.

That’s about it for now. Not a lot of crazy stuff, but I suppose that’s a good thing. With the summer coming and summer camps and stuff… I think I’ll have at least one good story to tell. At least one.